Gone (A guide to emotional sensitivity in the hypothetical)

Think about it a lot.
I mean way too much. Think about it in the present, past, future, hypothetical, and every possibility in between.

Imagine all of the happiest things that could possibly happen with it.
Really go to town on this. There are so many adventures you haven’t had yet, therefore, every decision has infinite outcomes and options. Consider even the most sentimental or outlandish ideas. Make these thoughts as rosy and intricate as they need to be.

Replay these over and over.
Dwell on them. Close your eyes and put yourself in these made up memories. Create connections to the moment. Allow them to ferment and seep into your thoughts as it winds its way into your everyday life.

Now, convince yourself you will never have this (or develop the feeling that it is all being taken away).
This is when it will hurt. As each connection made is severed and bleeds out, you, too, will find yourself drained of those good feelings. You may even acknowledge a sensation spreading from the top of your sternum through to your shoulder blades. The sense of pressure and weight tiptoeing across your chest may come on little by little or all at once. It will take your breath away. It will crush your lungs and hold your organs hostage.
This is where you crumble.

It is a strange thing to observe mental illness. Stranger to endure it. Each type has its own vicious cycle, feeding further into depth, chaos, and isolation. To “break” a mental illness, we must break these cycles and create a new outcome for ourselves. In no way am I saying this is easy, but, if the cycle can be broken, then one can experience an entirely new mindset and perspective, rising from ashes to be reborn.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s